Mad Love
by hyenateeth
Summary: Deidara has just started working at the world famous Akatsuki Asylum, where he meets the Scorpion Killer, Sasori Akasuna. What does this psychopathic killer want with him? Batman based AU, yaoi, Sasodei. ON HAITUS
1. Chapter 1

OH SNAP! A new series, I suck! When there are so many I need to work on... This is my epic one though.

It is my Batman based AU. OH YES. Mostly based off the Animated Series, because I know the most about that. Don't worry though, you don't need to know a whole lot about Batman to understand this, everything will be explained in later chapters. This is based off the episode/comic "Mad Love", starring Deidara as Harleen Quinzel and Sasori as the Joker. A nearly complete cast will be in the long ending authors note.

* * *

**MAD LOVE**

"I'm really grateful for this opportunity Dr. Uchiha un." Deidara Iwa spoke as he followed the black haired man through the dim lighted halls of Akatsuki Asylum. "It's really an honor to work under such a prestigious doctor un."

"Please," said the doctor. "Call me Madara, everyone does. And of course you were chosen Dr. Iwa, you graduated top of your class at Konoha University. I'm sure Akatsuki will be lucky to have you. In fact we were surprised you wished to work here, considering the... reputation of our patients."

Deidara's mouth twitched a little and he brushed a lock of his blond hair back. "... Right un. Well I've always been attracted to more extreme personalities un. And I'm sure this internship will help me greatly as well un."

"I'm sure." muttered Madara. "Come, let me show you where we keep the patients." The doctor opened a door that led to another hall.

Deidara had to quell his rapid breathing as he stepped into the hall after the doctor, He could barely believe it. He was so close to achieving his dream, his dream of working at the infamous Akatsuki Asylum, home to some of the world's most deranged minds.

He had moved to Konoha, worked endlessly at school, and now he was finally here. He had been ecstatic when the head of Akatsuki, Dr. Madara Uchiha had contacted him about his internship application. So close, he was _so fucking close_.

"This is where we keep our... special cases." Madara's voice broke into Deidara's thoughts. "Most of them were brought in by Hebi, -you know Hebi don't you? I understand you didn't always live in Konoha but..."

"No!" Deidara exclaimed, jerking his head away from where it had been looking at the thick bellet-proof glass that separated the patients from them. "I've heard of Hebi un. Everyone has. He's quite the character for a vigilante un."

Glancing back at the cells the patients were kept in he briefly made eye contact with a blue haired woman, who glanced at him for a second before going back to the origami flower she was sculpting.

Turning his head back to Madara as they passed her call he spoke a question that was in his mind.

"Er, Dr. Madara, I notice that the patients don't have an privacy un. Isn't that a little..."

"Unorthodox? Quite. But you will find that these patients require such methods. For example, we had one patient that, when not being observed constantly attempted to harm himself in various ways. These patients are only given privacy in the bathroom and during individual therapy sessions."

Deidara nodded, still looking from cell to cell, fascinated. Most patients ignored him, a few glanced at him. One startled him by jumping to the glass and pounding on it.

"Hey Madara!" the silver haired man shouted. "Who's that, a new fucking lab rat? Burn in hell you fucking heathen! "

Deidara jumped at this, but Madara barely spared a glance at the albino.

"That's Hidan," he said. "Just ignore him."

The blond nodded nervously, tearing his eyes away from the patient, who kept banging and shouting profanities as they passed him and moved to the end of the hall.

"You may work with a few of these patients, but until you get more practice with less serious cases you probably won't be seeing them too often" Madara continued speaking as they neared the end of the hall.

Suddenly, a cool voice called out from Deidara's left. "Hey," was all it said, and Deidara turned his eyes to see a red haired man sitting in a cell. The redhead smirked at him, his brown eyes heavy lidded. "Are you the new intern?"

Deidara paused, then nodded slowly, turning his whole body to face the cell.

Madara stayed behind him, but began speaking. "Ah yes, he is one of of our more famous cases. Dr. Iwa, I suppose you've heard of The Scorpion Killer?"

Deidara's eyes widened, but the red haired man just chuckled and shifted to the foot of his bed so he was sitting right by the glass.

"Such an ugly name," he said, looking Deidara square in the eye, grinning. Deidara felt a shiver run down his spine. He had never looked a serial killer in the eye before.

The redhead chuckled again sinisterly. "Please," he said. "Call me Sasori. I'd shake your hand if it weren't for... this." He tapped on the glass for emphasis. "So tell me, what's your name?"

"Deidara Iwa." Deidara muttered, not breaking eye contact. This was a test on the redhead's part and he knew it. "DOCTOR Deidara Iwa."

"Dei... Dei... Deidara..." Sasori rolled his head back, enunciating as if he was trying to taste the words. "Dei-Dara..."

"Sasori is one of our more difficult cases." Madara spoke again. "He'd eat a novice like you alive."

Deidara twitched a little at the demeaning statement but didn't say anything.

"Deidara..." Sasori said again. "What a pretty name! I hope to see you again soon Dei-da-ra." He smirked again and another shiver ran down the blond's spine.

Slowly Deidara turned back to Madara.

"Shall we continue the tour un?" He said calmly and then followed the black haired doctor out the door.

Sasori watched them leave thoughtfully.

* * *

"And this will be your office." Madara concluded the tour, opening the door to the dark office, moonlight pouring in from the window. "Now, it is late. I need to finish up up some paperwork. You will officially start tomorrow. I expect you here at 6:00 AM sharp. Understood Dr. Iwa?"

Deidara nodded. "Understood un."

Madara nodded and turned, walking back to his own office.

"What a weirdo un." Deidara muttered to himself once his creepy superior was gone, stepping into his office without bothering to turn on the light. He was planning to go home, back to his ugly cramped apartment soon, but not until he had inspected his office.

It was plain, two windows with the blinds open, an empty bookshelf, a chair and an unadorned desk... except...

He walked over to the desk, picking up the single object that rested on it.

A flower.

It was a small white rose in a vase - no, not a rose. When Deidara touched it he realized it was a paper rose, like the one the blue-haired woman had been making.

Noticing a note attached to the flower Deidara squinted to read it in the moonlight.

_Come down and see me sometime. I look forward to working with you._

Then after that it said "Signed" and it had a small picture, a picture of a red scorpion.

Feeling a smile involuntarily cross his lips he carefully pulled the flower out of the vase and put it in his front shirt pocket before turning to leave.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

Okay, notes. About this concept: First off, a cast. Not everyone on this cast list will be in this story (I want to make multiple stories.), and not everyone in this story will be on this cast list. (Just so you all don't figure out _all_ the plot points...)

Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn- Deidara  
Joker- Sasori (Now a serial killer dubbed "The Scorpion Killer" by the presses.)  
The Riddler - Hidan (With bits of another villain added into his character.)  
Poison Ivy - Konan  
Catwoman - Itachi (EPIC LOL)  
Bruce Wayne/Batman - Sasuke/"Hebi"  
Commissioner Gordon - Kakashi  
Alfred - Tsunade (LOL IT WILL MAKE SENSE.)

AND Arkham Asylum - Akatsuki Asylum.

As I mentioned I want to make multiple series using this concept, as I do have really all the characters planned out. I will start with this one, see how it goes.

About this story:

First off I'm chaning the Joker/Harley dynamic to make it... less abusive. If you are familiar with their dynamic in the comics/cartoons you will now what I mean and recognize how I change it. If you don't, that's just fine. There was not a lot of character development in this chapter, just wait. Hidan showed up for a reason, that's all I'm telling you.

THAT WAS WAY TOO LONG OF AN AUTHOR'S NOTE.

Please review, don't flame.


	2. Chapter 2

So, yeah... The next chapter...

I do not own Naruto or the heavily Batman influenced subject matter.

* * *

**MAD LOVE**

"How did you get the flower into my office un?"

Sasori looked up from the novel he was reading in the low light of his lamp. "Ah, Deidara, quite early isn't it? 5:30 AM seems a bit much, even for your first day."

"The flower Mr. Akasuna un." Deidara said firmly.

"Mister? Oh, don't call me that. Please, just call me Sasori. Well, I suppose you could always call me Master..."

Deidara twitched a little. "THE FLOWER."

Sasori frowned and leaned back so his back was resting on the wall as he sat on his bed. "Konan made it for me, I've never been very good with origami. Paper is far too... fragile. An orderly I've befriended, ah, no names Deidara, he got the vase for me." There was that smirk again. "So tell me Dei-da-ra, did you like my gift?"

Deidara frowned at the red-haired man. "I think Dr. Madara would be interested to discover you were out of your cell."

The redhead chuckled and another shiver ran down Deidara's spine at the sinister noise.

"If you were going to tell Madara you would have already. No, you won't tell him Deidara."

The redhead grinned again. "That's a pretty eye you have Deidara. May I see the other? You do have two don't you?"

Deidara turned briskly and walked away from the cell he had been in front of.

He knew that this would be a bad idea. He knew that Sasori would just keep toying with him. ...Damn it.

As he left he passed by the silver haired man's cell. Most patients were sleeping, but Sasori and this man who Madara had called Hidan, were not. Sasori had been reading, but Hidan was sitting in the middle of the floor in the fetal position, a silver pendant clutched in his hand, muttering inaudibly to himself as he rocked back and forth.

Deidara paused and remembered the man's outburst from before, but decided to risk it. Taking a step towards the cell he asked "Are you alright sir?"

The man acted as if he was broken out of a trance and flung himself backwards, throwing the pendant wildly at the glass. He then scooted back so he was pressed against the far wall from the blond, staring wild eyed at the man.

Neither moved for a bit until the albino whispered, panicked. "Don't interrupt me while I'm praying," he hissed.

Slowly Deidara nodded and turned to leave.

* * *

By the time Deidara was at his lunch break at noon he was tired and a little irritated.

"Man," groaned the blond as he propped his feet up on the desk. "I hate paperwork un."

Today he had done obscenely large amounts of paperwork and only worked with one patient, a fairly mild case involving a young man who had suffered from a breakdown and murdered his father.

Sighing, the blond doctor let his eyes close and his thoughts drift to the red-haired man who had sent him the small paper rose.

The Scorpion Killer.

He had heard of him before. Everyone had. He was more infamous than Ted Bundy.

Deidara had read several newspaper articles on him the first time he had been caught by the vigilante known by the alias "Hebi."

The man said his name was Sasori Akasuna, but that was likely a fake name. No one knew.

The crimes had started out as simple unrelated disappearances, until the bodies were found.

Their organs were removed and their blood was drained, and on all of them a small red scorpion had been tattooed on them. Strings had been tied to all the victim's limbs.

Essentially they had been turned into puppets.

Deidara sighed again and opened his eyes.

A true psychotic. That was the type of patient Deidara wanted to work with. Not some emo kid with daddy issues.

Deciding to get back to work, Deidara flung his legs back to the floor, moving on to the next piece of paperwork.

* * *

It was lunch time for the patients as well and the hall was quiet as they ate, save for the quiet murmuring as patients commented to themselves about the quality of the food.

Sasori picked at his salad, listening to Zetsu in the cell next to his have an argument with himself about the jello.

"I don't feel good!" he heard Hidan suddenly groan loudly. "Hey, let me out of here! I don't feel good!" A familiar thumping noise informed Sasori that the albino was once again started banging his head against the thick glass of his cell.

He watched only a little amused as a few orderlies rushed over towards the cell with a sedative, and off-handedly wondered of that interesting blond doctor would come down and relieve his boredom again.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

Some stuff: Hidan will play a bigger role later, his appearances now are leading up to that.

I dislike this chapter greatly. It honestly feels like a filler to me. But it does discuss why Sasori's in the asylum.

Now, as I said before, knowledge of Batman is not required, but for those who do know about it I would like to address a concept in it.

Sasori playing with the syllables in Deidara's name: In Mad Love Joker express a like for Harleen's name because of the simalarity to the word "Harlequin." This of course doesn't work in these contexts, so Sasori just likes how Deidara's name sounds.

Stuff will probably actually happen in the next first I need to update my neglected fanfictions, and before that I need to finish beta-ing something...

Please review but do not flame.


	3. Chapter 3

I know, finally right? Life's just been treating me bad recently, so that's why it took so long.

Whatever, read on.

* * *

**MAD LOVE**

Deidara was having a horrible day. It was official.

He decided this as he walked home from his bus stop in the midst of a torrential downpour. (Okay, that was a lie. It was just raining, but to someone without an umbrella, like Deidara, it might as well of been a monsoon.)

And since he still didn't have a car due to the student loans he was still paying, the blond doctor was thoroughly soaked.

Plus, when he had gotten to work that morning he had discovered that a patient, Zetsu, had broken out that night and was missing. Madara had been livid, and decided to take it out on his staff, especially Deidara.

It was just not Deidara's day.

Sighing, he turned the corner of his street and made his way to his apartment building.

As he walked down the sidewalk he heard the dark-haired male prostitute who sometimes worked by his apartment call out, but Deidara ignored him.

As he went into his building he heard the streetwalker growl something about getting customer's in the rain, and he heard his doorman shout something about getting water on the floor.

* * *

"**What about him?"**

Two yellow eyes locked on to a thin, dark-haired man, leaning against a wall, a small overhang keeping him somewhat drive.

"A prostitute probably," spoke the owner of the eyes. **"That doesn't matter."**

"Well, let's see. **Yes let's."**

A coin flips in a dark alley, splashing in a puddle as it lands.

"Ah... **Dammit!"**

Yellow eyes continue to watch the street, seeing a man with long blond hair walk by.

"Isn't that**-it is.** Apparently he lives here."

The yellow eyes move as the owner of them shifts his position so he can see more from his position in the alley.

"**You know...** Yes yes. But tomorrow would be better, it's still light now. **Yes he will have to leave here in the dark won't he?"**

Smirking, he flips the coin again.

A man in a dark alleyway laughs to himself, but no one seems to notice. The only one who might is a tired looking streetwalker, and if he notices anything he certainly doesn't show it.

* * *

Deidara stepped out of his shower, drying his hair with a towel. He finished drying himself, then slipped on his boxers and a pair of sweatpants as his sleeping gear.

He looked out the window at the now dark city, at the rain. He sighed heavily and sat on his couch, turning on the TV and deciding to try and stop thinking about work for the night.

When Deidara awoke the next morning he realized he had fallen asleep on his couch, which resulted in him waking at his usual time of 5:00 AM with a stiff back and a sore neck.

He got up, got dressed, ate a small breakfast and got ready to leave for his job.

When he left he noticed that the damp, lamplit streets seemed to be deserted. Even the prostitute from the night before had moved on to more active territory.

He walked along the dark sidewalk, unaware of the yellow eyes that watched him.

* * *

"Ugh..."

Deidara paused in front of an alleyway, peering in. It was a secluded, dark alley by his apartment, and Deidara could have sworn he had just heard a groaning noise.

"Hello un?" he called into the alley. "Hello? Are you alright un?"

"Ugh..." groaned the voice again. "Please... Help me..."

Concerned, Deidara rushed into the alley, seeing a man curled up next to a dumpster.

"Are you hurt un?" Deidara asked as he rushed over to the groaning man. "What happe-"

Deidara's voice froze in his throat as the man suddenly grabbed his outstretched wrist and leapt to his feet, glinting yellow eyes meeting his own.

"**Gotcha,"** growled the man, and suddenly a green haired, bicolored man that Deidara recognized in a stomach-turning instant as Zetsu, (_Zetsu_ realized Deidara. _Escaped, unstable, __**eats people**__, oh god..._) shoved him against the side of the building next to the dumpster.

A scream tore out of Deidara's throat and he tried to break away, but Zetsu was bigger than him.

Deidara's head was clouded in fear, all he knew was that he was kicking and yelling, and he was so scared, and then he felt something rip into his shoulder and oh god, it was his teeth, it was Zetsu's teeth and-

"Get off of him!" shouted a voice, and suddenly Zetsu was no longer an him.

Deidara slumped to the ground, wide eyed and stunned, not registering anything but fear and pain. He did not know how long he sat there before a voice brought him out of his trance.

"Are you alright?" asked a voice above him. Slowly, Deidara looked up to see a tall man standing over him. He was wearing a black domino mask, and he had a dark hood covering all his hair except for the dark fringes that fell in his face. His outfit was black and seemed to be made of leather, and he had a silver band around his upper left arm that was shaped like a snake.

Deidara stared for a moment before gasping out "You... You're Hebi..."

The man nodded. "And you are Deidara Iwa, the new doctor at Akatsuki Asylum. Are you alright?"

Deidara did not answer and did not even question the fact that the vigilante knew him. His attention had now focused on Zetsu, who was currently lying unconscious on the ground.

"That-That was Zetsu un, he-he escaped... He bit me, oh god he was going to..."

Deidara shuddered and curled up into the fetal position.

He felt a gloved hand touch his non-injured shoulder, and Deidara could feel how awkward it was for the crime fighter to touch someone in a non-violent way.

"Are you alright?" he asked again.

Deidara pushed away the hand and stood shakily. "N-No, I'm fine, I was just... I need to get to get to un. I'll be late un..."

Deidara's head was clouded, he was trying to walk out of the alley and away from this madness, but Hebi grabbed him.

"I've already contacted the police, you'll need to give them a report. They should be here any second. They will release you.

Deidara nodded, he could already hear the sirens approaching.

"I'll be leaving now," said the crime fighter, and then he was gone.

* * *

The next thing Deidara knew he was sitting in Dr. Madara Uchiha's office with a bandaged shoulder that was still throbbing slightly as he waited for the painkillers that the hospital had given him to kick in.

Madara was talking, but Deidara's head was cloudy and he was barely listening.

"And I understand that this must be very traumatic for you," continued the black-haired doctor. "And I will give you as much time off as you need."

"Thank you sir." muttered Deidara, his tongue feeling thick.

Madara cleared his throat and stood from his desk. He walked over to Deidara and put his hand on the blond's non-injured shoulder, and Deidara could feel how awkward it was.

"You should go home." he said.

Deidara nodded and left the office.

He wasn't sure why he chose to walk through the hall that held the severe patients. He did not really think at all as he walked, because if he did think he knew he would be taken over by the thought that oh god, he had just been attacked by a serial killer.

Suddenly he heard a loud banging noise to his side and a shout of "Deidara!"

He jumped and twirled, and why was he so close to the glass, and suddenly his eyes were locked with cold grey ones.

"Deidara," snarled Sasori, pressing his hand that had just dropped a book against the glass. "Did you let him do that to you?"

Deidara felt frozen, those eyes wouldn't let him move. "I-" he stammered. "I-uh-Wha-"

Sasori slammed his hands against the glass again, his normally dull eyes hard with what seemed to be pure unadulterated fury, a fury that Deidara had not seen in him before. The pain that had been dulling flared up in his shoulder again, accompanied with a shiver of fear running down his spine.

"You let him near you, let him do that!" The red-head was almost shouting.

"I didn't-" Deidara tried to protest, but he was cut off by another slam against the glass.

"You did!"

Deidara couldn't respond. Their eyes stayed locked for a few terrifying moments, before Deidara suddenly broke it and looked away, still silent.

There were a few more silent moments, and then Deidara could practically feel Sasori smirk.

"I apologize for snapping at you Deidara," said Sasori cooly, taking his hand off of the glass. "Of course this isn't your fault. I do not know what came over me."

"Un." muttered Deidara, not looking up.

"Perhaps I am simply overtired. I'm afraid I didn't get enough rest; Hidan kept everyone up singing a children's rhyme, what is it... That one about the twenty-four blackbirds in the pie..."

"Sing a Song of Sixpence,' Deidara easily provided.

"Ah yes, that's the one! '...A pocket full of rye. When the pie was opened the birds began to sing...'"

"'Wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the king?'" muttered Deidara, still not looking up at Sasori.

"Very good." Deidara could hear the smirk in his voice. "Anyway, Hidan kept repeating that over and over again, keeping the other patients and I up, and when he finally did fall asleep..." Sasori suddenly trailed off, looked distracted, then leaned over to pick up the book he had dropped.

Deidara now looked up. "What? When he fell asleep what happened?"

Sasori smirked and Deidara suddenly realized he had met the man's eyes again. Another shiver of fear ran down his spine and he defensively grabbed his injured shoulder.

"He had nightmares about being eaten by birds," was all Sasori said before opening his book and continuing to read.

Deidara did not move for another moment, then turned and left.

_That's it, _whispered his mind._ That's it, that's it, that's it._

By the time he got home his mind was screaming it.

_THAT'S IT!_ It screamed as he sat on his couch, wide-eyed. _THAT'S IT THAT'S IT THAT'S IT!_

Deidara knew what he wanted, what he needed, and all he had to do was get attacked to realize it.

He had realized that it was a game, a challenge, all of it, everything.

And know he knew what he had to do to win, to be the best, to not just be Deidara Iwa. He knew what he had to do to be everything he had ever wanted to be.

"I need to treat Sasori Akasuna." whispered the doctor to himself. "I need to treat the Scorpion Killer."

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

Explanations:

So, as for this taking longer than expected, if anyone is curious as to why, I got a kidney stone, which made me pretty damn sick for about a month, and then I got a surgery to get it removed. So I'm all better now. Oh, and finals. (Which I passed!)

This chapter has pretty much nothing to do with the original episode I'm basing this off of. Because that episode get's really vague about why or how things happened, so I'm going into detail.

If you couldn't tell, Zetsu is based off of Two-Face. Except a cannibal.

I cut out a scene that I decided was boring and not important enough where Deidara is talking to the police.

THE EXCESSIVE FORESHADOWING. IT BURNS.

You get a glimpse at Sasori's crazy side, and at Deidara's personality. Stay tuned for actual character development.

You also get a glimpse at the masked crime fighter Hebi.

Writing Zetsu's dialogue with himself is really weird.

I think that's everything.

Please review, no flames, I would gladly except constructive criticism.


	4. Chapter 4

In which the players review the game and plan their strategy.

Solarfox6, this is for you.

* * *

**MAD LOVE**

Deidara had never been good at taking pills.

More often then not he would choke on them and end up gagging up the putrid lumps, leaving a terrible taste in his mouth.

He thought about this as he swallowed two of the small white painkillers that the doctor had given him to ease the sharp throb in his shoulder.

But none of that was important, he reminded himself, rubbing his shoulder.

It had been 3 days since he had been attacked, since he had got his shoulder injured, since he realized what he had to do, that he had to treat Sasori. He figured he could not take more than a few weeks off of work, and in that time he intended to learn everything about the Scorpion Killer he could. That way, he figured, there was no way he wouldn't be able to treat the man.

He was currently sitting on his couch, with his laptop in front of him, his room dark because he couldn't be bothered to turn the lights on.

He was slumped over, straining his eyes looking at the glow of his laptop screen. He was looking up every article, every picture, every report on Sasori he could find from whenever, his appearance, when Hebi first caught him, his trial, a couple of times he had escaped from Akatsuki Asylum, everything, _everything_.

Deidara groaned and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. The painkillers made him tired and made it hard for him to concentrate.

"Focus Deidara un," he muttered to himself. "Focus."

What did he know, what did he know?

Sasori had been challenging him since day one, that much was obvious. It had started out simple, wordlessly challenging to look him in the eyes, make real eye-contact with a serial killer.

Deidara thought with a bit of pride that he had certainly passed that test.

Then, there was the paper flower in his office. That, that had been more obviously a challenge. Unfortunately, Deidara had misjudged that one a little bit.

He had thought that the purpose of the flower had been just to provoke him, but it was more then that. It was to show Sasori's power, he could get a flower to Deidara's office. And even more, he could get away with it.

Deidara had lost that one. He had just... lost. Failed miserably.

With a little smirk he supposed he could always tell Dr. Madara about the flower now, but that would be cheating. The game was not played that way.

He still had the flower, he had put it in the drawer in his bedside table, along with the note. He wasn't sure why. But he digressed.

Then, the third time...

Right after he had been attacked Sasori had challenged him to look him into his eyes. And Deidara had refused, refused to play the game at all. And then Sasori had been trying to coax him back in.... And he had. Deidara wasn't sure if that was a win or a lose.

But why had Sasori been so upset? He obviously liked games, liked to win, but it seemed to be more...

The phone rang, breaking Deidara's concentration completely.

"Fuck!" he shouted, impulsively throwing his orange pill bottle at the phone, even though his phone was across the room and in his adjoining kitchenette, so he had very little chance of hitting it.

Growling he shut his laptop and flopped over on the couch, waiting for the machine to get it, not wanting to answer an unimportant call.

It rang a few more times, then he heard his own voice on the answering machine.

"_You've reached Deidara Iwa; I can't come to the phone right now un. Please leave a message after the beep un." _

A few seconds later there was a loud beep, and then a woman's voice.

"_Deidara, honey? It's your mom. Are you there? Are you screening your calls again?"_

Deidara groaned loudly. "Dammit un." he muttered.

"_Well, I just wanted to make sure everything is alright. You haven't called me since you told me you got that job at the asylum. How is that going? I'm a little worried about you working with dangerous criminals. I mean, what if one of them attacks you or something!"_

Deidara rolled his eyes. He was glad he never told his mother about the incident with Zetsu.

"_I do wish you would come back home. I worry about you in a city like Konoha. There's so much crime there; it's always on the news! __Oh, I just remembered, do you have a girlfriend yet?__"_

"This is why I don't call you un!" Deidara shouted at the machine.

"_Is that why you never call me? Well, if you do have a girlfriend I'll want to meet her! Well, I should probably be going now honey. Love from your father and me! Call me back okay?"_

The machine beeped again. Deidara groaned. He honestly did not get along well with his parents, as illustrated by the fact that he never called them save for holidays and special occasions.

"Whatever un," he groaned. He might as well take a short break. The pills were making him very tired, and he wanted to be completely focused while researching.

A little nap wouldn't hurt.

* * *

"Here's that book you wished for Mr. Akasuna," said the orderly as he slipped it through the slot where they normally pushed meals through.

Sasori looked up at the orderly, a small smirk on his face, but it was different than his normal smirk, not quite as sure as it normally was.

"Thank you," he said cooly, picking the book up off the floor and looking at it briefly to make sure it was the one he requested. "Lord of the Flies. Good book, have you ever read it?"

The orderly shook his head. "No I haven't."

Sasori frowned a little. "Tell me, do you know where Deidara is? The blond one."

The orderly thought for a few seconds. "He's taking some time off of work since Zetsu attacked him. I think I heard Madara saying he would be back in a few weeks."

Sasori nodded. "Very well. Leave."

The orderly nodded and left.

Sasori was unhappy. It had been three days without seeing Deidara and he was getting hopelessly bored.

Honestly, if this asylum didn't get more interesting he might just have to leave it.

_But_, he though mirthfully. _That would be changing the game before Deidara really got a chance to play._

"That wouldn't be fair would it?" he muttered, opening his book. "And if anything I'm a fair man."

* * *

"He's been quiet."

Tsunade looked up and across the room (or more accurately, the cave) to where a young man was siting in front of a giant computer screen. The man was Sasuke Uchiha, a young billionaire, president of Uchiha Enterprises, and Tsunade's boss. He was also the vigilante known as Hebi.

"Who's been quiet?" she asked, walking over to the young man.

"Sasori," he answered, not taking his eyes off the screen. "Normally he wold be doing something by now, he would have broken out of Akatsuki again... He's too quiet."

Tsunade raised her her eyebrows. "You're complaining that someone _isn't_ committing crime? Really, that seems a bit much, even for you. _Sir_."

Sasuke frowned and clenched his fists. "It's not right. It doesn't fit his pattern. Normally he would make sure he's back in the game by now."

Tsunade looked at the screen. On it there were pictures, articles, reports, all on the Scorpion Killer, from when he first appeared up to the present.

"Well then," Tsunade said slowly. "Perhaps he's found a new game to play."

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

You have four things to thank for me getting this chapter out.

The first is Solarfox6, who on my fanfiction "Not Human" was the first one to correctly guess that I based the Akatsuki on the Brotherhood of Mutants. She wished for reward to be that I finish this. I told her that it's going to be long, but said I would get the next chapter out within the week as her prize.  
The second is the Batman graphic novel I purchased recently. Those always help me.  
The third is the fact that my internet went out yesterday, leaving me with not much to do other than work on this.  
And the fourth is the soundtrack to Repo! The Genetic Opera (which I love now). I found that it helped me write this a lot.

Other fun facts about this chapter:

I have not read Lord of the Flies yet. Heard it's good though. Originally he was going to be reading American Psycho, but I decided that would be way too predictable.

Hey, it's that orderly again! The one who helped Sasori earlier. Hmm, I wonder if he'll play a role later...?

I had a lot of trouble taking pills while I had kidney stones. I wrote the beginning a little bit after that, so I was getting that off my chest.

Well, that is it, review please, no flames, as always constructive criticism would be great.


	5. Interlude: Little Bunny Frou Frou

This is not technically part of the storyline "Mad Love." This is a Hidan-centric interlude based off of the issue "When is a Door: The Secret Origin of The Riddler." I'm a HUGE Riddler fan, and I really wanted to write pre-Mad Love Hidan, because he's going to go through big changes in this storyline and I may never get to write this Hidan.

I didn't want Hidan's gimmick to be riddles, so I made it children's rhymes.

* * *

**Mad Love Interlude: Little Bunny Frou Frou**

Deidara grinned manically as he stared at his computer, reading the article on a website he was browsing. It was a website he had discovered called "The Rogue's Gallery", a website that profiled most of the infamous criminal's that had tangled with Hebi.

The part of the website Deidara was currently looking at was under the link "Media", and under the section of "Investigating Konoha."

"_Investigate Konoha,_" read the section, _"Was a short lived television show which ran a special in 2002 called Portraits of Criminals: The Story of the Enemies' of Hebi. It featured candid interviews with some of Hebi's most prolific villain's, often portraying them in a sympathetic light. It was very controversial, because while Akatsuki Asylum did not permit interviews with currently incarcerated criminals, the program managed to contact several criminals who were at large and wanted by the police. The program allowed the criminals to meet on their terms and did not contact the police. Investigating Konoha was canceled shortly after the special aired." _

Below the paragraph were several links, apparently the special, separated by which criminal it was interviewing. Deidara scanned down, looking for name he recognized. He recognized Zetsu, twitched and continued to look down. His eyes stopped on a familiar name.

"Hidan..." he muttered to himself, his mind going back to the silver-haired man rocking back and forth in a cell.

Deciding it wouldn't be too bad to take a small detour from studying Sasori, he clicked the link, the screen changing to a video player. After buffering for a few seconds, the video started.

"Welcome back to Investigating Konoha, with your host, Kiba Inuzuka. We are currently interviewing Hidan, sometimes known as The Storyteller. Hello Mr. Hidan."

The camera was focused on Hidan, sitting at a table, who looked very different from the man Deidara had seen in the cell. His face was littered with peircings, and it was not a thin as Deidara had seen it. He looked distracted, digging through his pocket.

"Don't call me The Storyteller," he said, not looking at the camera, concentrating on digging through his pocket. "It makes me sound like a pussy. Only the retarded media calls me that... Nevermind, you can call me that. Ah, there's one!" He pulled out a cigarette from his pocket, then a lighter. "Do you mind if I smoke?"

"Not at all," said Kiba's voice from it's place behind the camera. "So, Hidan then, when did you become a costumed criminal?"

The man took a long drag on his cigarette, then blew out a puff of smoke. "When?" he repeated, rolling his head back a little. "I've always been like this. All my life. Maybe..." He closed his eyes, and almost absentmindedly moved his hand open and began tapping each one of his facial decorations. "Maybe I've always been this. Maybe I'm not like this at all. You know I've heard a lot of stories about me. From the media, from you fuckers. Maybe some of them are true. Maybe none of them are true. Maybe I just wanted to prove to everyone that I was the best. Maybe it's something more then that, deeper." He finished tapping the facial jewelry and opened his eyes. "It was fun at first. Just a little fun. To get noticed though, you have to have gimmick. Cats, puppets, children's rhymes, God, Jashin, Jashin Jashin Jashin.."

He shifted a little and dug in his pocket again, this time pulling out a folded polaroid. "This is me with Sun and Moon. Can we show this to the camera? Yeah, yeah, there." He waved the photograph in front of the camera. It was a snapshot of Hidan with two costumed women, one with short dark hair, the other with long fair hair. They wore domino masks and leotards, and you could see that the blonde was holding a gun.

"They were my hench-girls. Past-tense. They'll probably be thrilled to see this. They never got too much fucking media recognition. I call it sexism. I hired them when it was fun. But it's different now, changed." He took a drag. "It's just fucking different. I've been to Akatsuki once. Broke out, nasty place." He was not looking at the screen, his eyes focused somewhere off-screen, as if he was perhaps looking at something. Then he laughed suddenly. "Things have changed," he chuckled. "And Jashin doesn't like it. Jashin wants me to make it better. I'll do it for you Jashin!" He chuckled more, like laughing at an inside joke.

The interviewer cleared his throat. "Alright... So, is your real name Hidan?"

Hidan flicked his cigarette. "Now why the fuck would I tell you that?" He said simply, smirking.

Kiba chuckled, a little nervously. "Okay, I notice you keep mentioning 'Jashin.' Who is Jashin?"

"Jashin is my life." He said, rubbing the silver pendant that hung around his chest, the same that had been thrown at the glass of his cell, Deidara realized. "Jashin is my lord and savior. Jashin is divine. Jashin is... Jashin is..." He smirked. "Jashin is more than you could ever comprehend!" He barked out gleefully before bursting into a fit of cackling laughter.

After a few moments the laughing died down, and Kiba spoke again. "So, how do you feel about Hebi?"

Hidan frowned, then put the cigarette back in his mouth, sucking deeply. He removed the cigarette and blew out smoke. "I..." he started. "He's..."

He closed his eyes and started tapping his peircings again, this time humming to the tune of "Little Bunny Frou Frou."

He finished tapping then opened his eyes. "Hebi is this, this city. If it weren't for Hebi you wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be here. Little bunny Frou Frou, hopping through the forest, picking up the field mice and BASHING them on the head..."

"Why the children's rhymes?" asked Kiba from his place behind the camera, interrupting the pale man's singing.

The man stopped short from the hand signs he been doing along with his song. "Why? Why?"

He suddenly ground out his cigarette on the table. "Why do you think? Have you ever listened to them? Maybe it's just a silly gimmick. Maybe I was always obsessed with them. Maybe Jashin tells me to use them. Maybe..."

The tapping again, and Deidara just now noticed that every time he started tapping the facial peircings he went in the exact same order. He finished, opening his eyes. "They're very violent aren't they? Children's rhymes. Death and dying and fraud and all sorts of things that children can't possibly understand. Maybe I'm just something that children like you and Hebi can't understand. Or maybe I'm weird. Who knows."

He looked back down at his hands and continued his rhyme. "And down came the good fairy and he said, 'Little bunny Frou Frou, I don't want to see you, picking up the field mice and BASHING them on the head! I'll give you three chances, and if you don't behave...'" He started laughing, as if he couldn't contain it. Still laughing, he continued. "And if you don't behave... I'll send you to Akatsuki Aslyum!"

The video ended there.

Deidara blinked. Well, it was certainly interesting. The man in the interview was nothing like the skinny albino he had seen in the cell. "What happened to him un?" he muttered under his breath.

Then he shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. He needed to focus. Damn, the pills were making him groggy.

He pressed the "Back" button on his browser and continued to scan the names. Then he swore. There was no interview with Sasori.

"Well that was a spectacular waste of time un," the blond man growled.

Or maybe not.

He went to his search engine and quickly typed in "Kiba Inuzuka."

And sure enough.

Kiba Inuzuka had been one of Sasori's victims.

**END INTERLUDE.

* * *

**

Yes, I killed Kiba. I'm sorry, but it's not like he was ever going to show up.

I had been debating giving Hidan hench-girls, and eventually decided to him having had them, but he fired them. They are based off of the character Query and Echo, and they probably won't show up again.

So, yeah, The Riddler is actually my favorite of the Batman villains, and this is based of off an issue I found in a collection of Riddler and Two-Face stories from my library. I also got a Riddler figurine and a Riddler information book, so I couldn't resist this story. But I added Deidara and a mention of Sasori.

Also, YAY FORESHADOWING.

Don't worry, I will get the actual next chapter of Mad Love up soon, I also got a Joker story.

Please review, do not flame, I would love constructive criticism.


	6. Chapter 5

Read bottom authors note to explain why it took so long.

Takes place a few weeks after the last chapter.

* * *

**MADLOVE**

Deidara smiled politely and sat down in the chair in front of Doctor Madara's desk. "I'm glad to be back Dr. Madara un."

Madara nodded. "And we're glad to have you back. You are a valuable asset to Akatsuki Asylum."

Deidara repressed a smirk. That was exactly what he wanted to hear. Sure, the doctor was probably just trying to be nice so Deidara wouldn't sue them or something, but it was still progress. He had not researched his entire break from work to be disrespected anymore.

No, Deidara was going to win this game. He was sure of it.

Madara continued speaking. "I'm a little surprised you came back so early. Has your shoulder healed yet?"

"Not yet," responded Deidara, rotating his shoulder a little. He couldn't move it too drastically yet. "But it's coming along un. I just frankly couldn't afford to be off work any longer un. Besides, I get antsy when I don't work un."

Not that he hadn't been working Deidara added mentally. No, he had _definitely_ been working.

"Well I appreciate your work ethic," responded his supervisor. Deidara nodded, smiling stiffly. He was still trying to think of a way to breech the subject of being allowed to work with Sasori tactfully, and preferably a way in which there wasn't a chance he would get fired. He hadn't thought of a way yet.

"You may even be in line for a promotion if you keep it up."

_FUCK YEAH_, Deidara screamed mentally. _YES YES YES YES YES!_

On the outside he just smiled.

"But in the meantime I have a special job for you today" The dark-haired doctor continued. "A patron of the hospital is coming to visit us. I would like for you to show him around the hospital."

This interrupted Deidara's stream of _YES YES YES_, making him blink as he focused again.

"Oh, um, of course un. Um, who is it un?"

Right after he said it there was a knock at the door of Madara's office.

"Ah, that must be him." Madara stood from his desk and walked behind Deidara to the door. The blond turned in his chair to look at the door, but from the angle he was at he couldn't see the person who was standing in the doorway as he shook Madara's hand.

Then the older doctor stepped back and Deidara saw their guest.

He was a tallish man, maybe an inch or two taller then Deidara, with dark spiky hair and black eyes.

"This is Sasuke Uchiha, president of Uchiha Enterprises. Sasuke is a good friend and contributor to Akatsuki Asylum. Sasuke, this is Deidara Iwa."

Deidara quickly stood from his chair and shook the man's hand. "Nice to meet you Mr. Uchiha."

Sasuke nodded politely in response.

Madara spoke to the man. "Dr. Iwa will be showing you around the asylum Sasuke."

Sasuke smirked a little bit at Madara, and Deidara realized he hadn't let go of his hand yet. He wasn't sure if this was absent minded or the man was trying to intimidate him, but he didn't like it. He pulled his hand away and took a step back coldly.

If it bothered Sasuke he didn't show it, in fact he ignored it completely as Madara spoke again, he assumed in response to the smirk. "Of course I would tour you myself, but I am quite busy. Dr. Iwa is a fine doctor and I'm sure he will be able to answer any of your questions."

"Of course Madara," responded the man, his voice wavering on the line between friendly and arrogant, the same tone of voice Madara usually seemed to talk in noted the blond. "Well, we should probably start. I don't want to take up to much of Dr. Iwa's time."

Madara nodded in response, and deciding that was his cue, Deidara said "Follow me then Mr. Uchiha un," and led the dark-haired man out of the room, if nothing more then to get rid of the tension. And as he got out of the room and the door was closed he decided to ask the question that had been bugging him.

"Er, Mr Uchiha un?" he began tentatively.

"Yes?"

"If you mind me asking, are you and Dr. Madara... related un?"

Sasuke nodded. "Yes. He's my uncle. I suppose it's pretty obvious."

"Un," muttered Deidara in response and decided not to bring it up beyond that. Truthfully he didn't care much. He was more interested in what Madara had said previously about a promotion, and what that may entail.

* * *

"And this is where we keep the, er, more psychotic characters un. Hebi's rogues and whatnot un." Deidara was currently concluding the tour, and he was now entering the place he hadn't really wanted to go with this Sasuke Uchiha guy, the hall where Sasori was.

"Oh, yeah,like The Storyteller and The Scorpion Killer and those types," responded Sasuke, nodding and seeming interested. This made Deidara repress a frown. One of those rich types who liked gawking at serial killers, never wonders what makes them tick, Deidara thought disdainfully. But he of course said nothing of the sort.

"Yes, Mr. Hidan and Sa- Mr. Akasuna are certainly high-profile cases un." He said, beginning to lead the billionaire through the hall as slowly as he could.

"Have you ever worked with any of them?" asked Sasuke.

Deidara frowned a little and shook his head. "No sir un. I am not... at that... level yet un." He gritted his teeth as he said it.

"But you have dealt with them right. I saw on the news that one of them attacked you."

Deidara twitched noticeably at this and almost stopped walking. He had almost forgotten that _of course_ that had been on local Konoha news.

Sasuke frowned. "I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it."

Deidara set his jaw again. "No, it's fine un. It was a few weeks ago. Risk comes with the job un." He couldn't stop himself. "You wouldn't know un."

Sasuke didn't respond, but Deidara could feel a slight tension growing. Damn. He really hoped he hadn't just made a bad impression with a patron to the asylum _and_ his boss's nephew. And a multi-billionaire. Son of a bitch.

As they grew closer to Sasori's cell Deidara began talking again out of nervousness. "So, many of these patients are considered dangerous psychotics un. As you can see they are given very little privacy un. They are given private therapy sessions though, and they are allowed several hours of socializing time per week un. Sometimes the privilege is taken away though if they misbehave or something..." They were passing Sasori's cell now, and he couldn't stop himself from looking in the direction of the cell.

Sure enough the red-haired man was watching them walk by. He tried to quickly read the serial killer's expression, but found he couldn't. It just got harder when the man smirked at the blond, which sent a familiar frightened chill down his spine. Damn, that was supposed to stop happening after all the research.

He cleared his throat quickly and fixed his eyes forward, continuing to explain the basics of how they worked with the criminals to the man following him as he lead the billionaire towards the end of the hall.

As they exited the hall, Deidara turned. "Well, that's all there is to show you of the asylum un. I hope you enjoyed it un."

He turned again, beginning to leave. Frankly he did not want to stay around this man anymore.

"Excuse me, Dr. Iwa? Do you want to work with some of Hebi's rogues?"

Deidara stopped and turned on his heel. "What?"

The man smiled politely. "You seem like a competent doctor, and I assume you chose to work here to work with them. I could put in a good word for you with my uncle."

Deidara stared at the billionaire.

* * *

"So why did you do it sir?"

Sasuke glanced up at Tsunade. Then he shrugged. "He seems like a good doctor. Besides, I've always thought Hebi needed a good ally at Akatsuki."

Tsunade frowned. "And you've researched his background?"

Sasuke nodded again. "Of course. He seems like the perfect type to work with the likes of Akasuna and Hidan."

"If you say so sir," muttered Tsunade, but she didn't sound like she agreed at all. "Seems like he might work a little too well."

Sasuke didn't hear her.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

You know what's ironic? Another fandom has been distracting me from writing this. The ironic part? I am now into the ACTUAL Batman fanfiction. UGH, IRONY. Actually I'm just kind of into DC slash in general, BUT MOSTLY slash involving Batman characters. Especially the Riddler.

So, er, this leads me into a question. I know a lot of people who read this are not Batman fans, because I get a lot of comments along the lines of "I don't like/don't know anything about Batman but this is really good.", WHICH I LOVE! I really do love those comments because they comfort me that the Batman-influence doesn't scare readers away. Anyway, but I know from reviews that a few of you are Batman fans which leads me to ask... Would you read it if I wrote actual Batman slash? Like, Two-FacexRiddler? BatmanxRiddler? ScarecrowxRiddler? AnyonexRiddler? (Guess what character I like?) I'm just considering it, let me know what you think. It wouldn't keep me from writing this at all.

Oh, I should also mention that I'm in debate now, so I'm doing a lot of non-fanfiction writing, so that might slow me down a bit too.

OH, NOTES ABOUT THE STORY...

Fun fact, in the interlude I made Hidan smoke, just because. About a week later I found a really old Riddler story where he's smoking. Made me laugh.

No real comments about the story. Except HEY LOOK MORE FORESHADOWING. IT JUST WON'T STOP!

EDIT: Thank you to the anonymous person who pointed out that I accidentally said Batman instead of Hebi. ...I do that sometimes, mostly mixing up "Akatsuki" with "Arkham". I usually catch it but apparently I didn't this time. (Note to self: Talk to Hikaru-honey about that beta-ing thing.)

Please review, but don't flame. Constructive criticism is always excepted though.


	7. Chapter 6

Yeeeahhh... Soooo... New chapter guys... Yeah... You should read it.

* * *

**MAD LOVE**

"Hidan?" Deidara repeated his superiors words. "You... want me to treat Hidan un?"

Madara nodded, elaborating on his previous statement. "My nephew told me he thought you were capable of treating a more extreme patient. He is of course no expert, but he can be a good judge of character. So I thought I would give you a chance."

Deidara swallowed and refused to his voice or face betray his emotions. "...With Hidan un," he stated blankly.

Madara nodded again. "Hidan is extreme, but he is not... the toughest case. I have been seeing him personally, but I believe you will be able to reat him. Who knows, you may even be... good for him."

Deidara nodded but couldn't stop himself from asking "Are you that this sudden change... won't upset Hidan un? I mean, often types like him dislike drastic change and-"

"No," interrupted Madara. The doctor was smirking a little, which made Deidara incredibly uncomfortable. "On the contrary, he seemed quite enthusiastic about the change of pace."

Deidara wasn't sure why, but suddenly the smirk on Madara's face made him so uncomfortable, for a moment he was scared to breathe.

* * *

"Akasuna!"

Sasori looked up in the direction of the voice as two orderlies led him into the recreation source of it came from was a straitjacketed silver haired man sitting in a chair, with a blue haired lady sitting on the armrest. Hidan and Konan.

Sasori walked over to the pair and politely sat on the coffee table in front of the two.

"Hidan," he greeted calmly. "Konan."

Konan nodded politely. Hidan grinned broadly, and Sasori could immediately tell he was not all there. "Heeey, Akasuna! Fancy meeting you here!"

Sasori smirked a little. "Indeed. You're normally not allowed socializing time."

Hidan rolled his head absently in response, so Konan took this opportunity to speak instead. "They made a deal that he could have socializing time as long as he was in a jacket and sedated." The woman calmly patted the man's head. "So he's a bit out of it."

Sasori looked at the obviously stoned man. He honestly was not fond of Hidan. He found the man obnoxious. Konan was not as bad, a little obsessive about origami and flowers though. He was aware that she had killed multiple times (not as artistically as him he was sure), but she didn't seem too aggressive normally. In fact she seemed to be annoyingly motherly at times. At that very moment she was petting Hidan's silver hair like he was a kitten. A homicidal, OCD, drugged out, straitjacketed kitten.

Either way, he would have to tolerate them, and everyone else in the asylum as long as he chose to stay in Akatsuki.

"Um..." mumbled Hidan. "Heeeey, Akasuna... You... You talk to... the new doctor..." Hidan squinted his eyes like he was trying to actually think, but the drugs were preventing him. "Um, the... the blond one..."

Sasori bristled slightly but didn't respond more then a curt head nod.

"Yeah, he... he's um... blond... He's... _FUCK_!" The albino scrunched his eyes shut.

"Deidara Iwa," provided Konan.

"Yeeeaaah, Deidara Iwa... He, um, Madara said... Konan... You tell him Konan, I, fuck I CAN'T THINK WITH THESE FUCKING DRUGS IN ME!" He shouted the last part, drawing some cautious glances from the orderlies observing them. Then he scrunched his eyes shut and began mumbling. "Jashin Jashin Jashin..."

Konan frowned. "Madara will not be treating Hidan for a bit. Instead the _good doctor_ has chosen for Doctor Deidara Iwa to take his place." She announced formally.

Sasori bristled. _"What?"_

Konan frowned more. "Do not make a scene Akasuna. You know what this is. Why Madara is doing this."

Sasori did not respond. But he knew. Oh, did he know...

_Doctor Madara... _

* * *

Hidan breathed deeply, closing his eyes thoughtfully as he did so. Then he opened them again. "You smell like popcorn."

Deidara blinked. Well it looked like his first session with Hidan was going great already. "I ate a bag for lunch un." He said flatly, glancing uninterestedly at the albino man sitting across the table from him.

The pale man made a noise in the back of his throat, a somewhat frustrated sounding groan, almost a cough. "Fuckingfuckingfucking..." he hissed, looking down at the table. Then he glanced back up at the blond doctor. "I didn't eat my lunch." He explained.

Deidara sighed, figuring he might as well start there. Madara had instructed him to try to not force Hidan to talk. "Why not un?" He asked.

Hidan just shrugged. Not looking at Deidara, in favor focusing his attention on tapping his fingers on the desk, seven times each finger observed Deidara. Then he looked back up. "You didn't want to be my Doctor," he announced.

The blond doctor jumped a little in surprise. "What makes you say-"

"There's no one fucking in here Blondie, you don't have to act. You wanted to treat Akasuna."

Deidara paused a bit, then answered carefully. Just because they had left them with a certain amount of privacy for the therapy session didn't mean he still shouldn't be careful with what he said. "This is... admittedly not ideal, but-"

"No shit! If this were ideal I wouldn't even be in this hellhole right now. Look, Blondie, the only reason I agreed to this is because I didn't want _him_ treating me anymore. I don't intend to cooperate alright? I'm _not_ fucking crazy." The albino smirked and threw his legs up on the table, rocking his chair back on the two back legs, closing his eyes. "Now if you would be so kind, I feel like a nap."

Deidara had been bottling up everything for the past few days, but this was the last straw. "Okay look here you pretentious asshole!" he snapped very loudly, shooting up from his chair, slamming his hands on the table. "I did not come this far to be stopped by an albino with an attitude problem! I _will_ treat Akasuna. And I need to prove myself to Madara to do so, and if that means making progress with you _I will do so_, one way or another! So either you are going to cooperate, or I will have the orderlies shove so many drugs down your throat I'll be able to dance you around like a goddamn puppet if I want to! Do you understand?"

Honestly his outburst surprised himself, but he did not back down, standing there, hands on the table, breathing hard.

Hidan, who had dropped his legs back to the floor, stared blankly at the blond for a moment. Then he smirked. "Well, I guess I'll have to cooperate then, won't I _Iwa_?"

* * *

That night Deidara looked at himself for a long time in the mirror. He inspected his mouth, his nose, his cheeks, he even pulled back the blond fringe of hair that he normally refused to move, so that he could look at both his eyes, compare them. He stared into his own eyes for a long time.

He had acted so unprofessionally today. He had yelled at and threatened his patient. Surely Hidan could have reported him to Madara if he wanted to.

But... He honestly couldn't say he felt bad about it. It had worked hadn't it? Hidan was cooperating. Maybe that was how you had to deal with types like Hidan. Did it really matter? What mattered was working with Sasori. Sasori, Sasori would be his winning ticket.

_The man who cured the Scorpion Killer._

Deidara smirked at his reflection, then slowly let it fade as he stared into his own eyes. Then he let the blond fringe fall back in front of his face.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

Hey, what's up. So... usual story... I would have had this up earlier, but I had to write a case for debate.

But yeah, some Deidara characterization in this. I'm moving this story along! Plus the usual foreshadowing. Also, you may notice that Hidan's character is a little spastic in this chapter, which is intentional.

(Yay foreshadowing.)

HEY SO, I'm probably going to go ahead and write some anyway, but would anyone be interested in reading Batman fanfiction? As I mentioned in the previous chapter, it will not make me lose interest or stop writing this fanfiction at all.

Anyway, please review, do not flame, constructive criticism would be great though.


	8. Chapter 7

I know this was late, but I have a break from school so I should be able to get the next chapter out a lot sooner.

* * *

**MAD LOVE**

"I wish I had superpowers," Hidan said idly, pulling on the skin of his face. He was trying to see if he could get it to stretch like rubber, like that person from that comic book he had read as a child. It wasn't working and was just making his face hurt. "Wouldn't it be cool to have superpowers?"

"I suppose," muttered Deidara, glancing at his patient, deciding not to protest the strange face-pulling. "What kind of superpowers would you want un?"

He had been treating Hidan for about a week, and he was certain the albino was improving greatly, throwing less fits and jut generally having to be sedated less.

"Mmm, I don't know. ...Hmm... Immortality, I think. No one could kill me. And... no one could kill me."

"You already said that un."

"I know."

Hidan stopped pulling on his face and let his head fall and began to mumble "Jashin" over and over again.

Deidara sighed. It still wasn't enough progress. He had to make more in order to impress Madara and be allowed to treat, no, to _cure_ Sasori. He wasn't going fast enough. He had to speed it up.

Gritting his teeth a little, he decided to push forward a bit. "So, Hidan," the blond doctor said forcefully, making the albino to stop chanting and look up. "Can you tell me about your childhood un?"

"Why?" The albino growled the word a bit, like he was irritated suddenly.

"Well, from what I have gathered, that is where quite a few of your… compulsions started un."

"Hmm." The albino looked thoughtful for a moment, tapping on the table. Then finally he said "It was… remarkably average. Boring even. I lived in one of those fucking suburbs, which are the most fucking boring places on Earth. My parent's never got divorced, there were no especially traumatic events, nothing."

He stretched after he said that, his back making a cracking noise.

"Really? So you were never abused at all un?"

Hidan frowned. "I just fucking said that. Nothing happened."

"Very well. Can you remember when your compulsions started un?"

The albino man closed his, and the tapping started again. Then he slowly answered "No. I don't remember."

Deidara frowned. This wasn't helpful. "I see un."

"I was pretty young I think. If it helps."

Deidara looked up from his clipboard and smirked gravely. "I was not aware you were interested in helping me un."

"Oh, fuck. I'm not. I'm just trying to trick you into thinking I'm cured so you'll let me go and I can start a crime spree and have some fun fun times fighting Hebi.

"You better be joking un."

"Of course I am, cause I'm not insane at all. I don't fucking need to be cured." Hidan stretched again, this time popping his neck.

Deidara smirked again. "So you believe that completely sane people go around robbing banks and killing people?"

"I'm the exception that proves the rule." Then the albino smirked. "Are completely sane people obsessed with being in the same room as the Scorpion Killer?"

The blond's smirk faded immediately. Then he cleared his throat. "Actually, I just realized that we are bit over the time for you session un. I should get the guards un." As he said this he pressed a button attached to the desk that would alert the guards.

Hidan's smirk didn't fade. "Of course. Can't waste you time can we? Things to do, people to see..." His casual speech faded as two guards came in and stood on either side of him. He stiffened a little and his eyes darted back and forth between the two.

"Thank you," spoke Deidara, talking to the closer of the two guards. "Hidan's session is finished un. Could you please escort him back to his cell un?"

The guard nodded and grabbed Hidan's arm, who immediately shoved it away and sneered. "I can walk, thanks. You don't need to hold me."

He stood and the guards began to escort him out, but right before he was all the way out of the door he stopped and turned. "Oh shit, I almost forgot. Blondie!"

Deidara had been looking at his clipboard, but now he looked up.

Hidan continued. "What superpower would you want?"

Deidara blinked. He hadn't been expecting that. "Um... I don't know. I guess... flight un?"

Hidan nodded like Deidara had something incredibly deep and philosophical. "Okay." Then he turned back around and left the room.

* * *

"Oh Dei-da-ra!"

Deidara froze mid-step as the familiar voice that he had not heard recently called out to him. He swallowed, trying to moisten his suddenly dry throat, and turned to the bulletproof glass of the cell he had frankly been trying to avoid.

"Hello Deidara," purred the man, making very purposeful eye-contact. "It's been a while hasn't it?"

Deidara swallowed again. "Indeed it has Mr. Akasuna un."

The smirk only faltered for a moment. "Now Dei-da-ra, what did I ask you yo call me?"

"...Sasori."

"Much better."

Deidara really wished his throat wasn't so dry. "Do you need anything Sasori un?"

The red-haired man leaned back from where he was sitting on the edge of his bed nearest the glass, using his arm to support himself as he reclined. "I hear you have started treating Hidan."

"I have un."

"Did you request him as your patient? Why are you treating him, specifically?" When Deidara did not answer immediately he smirked again added "I am simply curious."

"I was assigned him un. Madara told me I had to treat him."

"Had to?"

Deidara flinched, realizing he slipped up. "Hidan was... not my first choice un."

Sasori rolled his head back, still smirking his bone-chilling smirk. "But you are still treating him. Because you were told to."

The blond doctor nodded. "That is correct, now if you would ex-"

All of a sudden the red-haired man sat up and shot forward, pressing one hand against the glass. Deidara jumped a little, cursing himself right after.

"So Deidara, what if I asked you to do something for _me_?"

The tone in his voice made a chill run down Deidara's spine. "It, um, would... depend, um on what it was un..." stuttered the blond, suddenly unable to focus.

"Really now?" Sasori leaned forward, placing his other hand on the glass and leaning forward a bit, lowering his eyelashes in a way that made another shiver run down his spine.

All of a sudden Deidara realized how long they had been making eye-contact and exactly how Sasori was looking at him, shook his head and turned. "I'm sorry to cut this short Sasori but I have to go. I have a doctor's appointment soon un."

"For you shoulder? How is that?"

"It's doing much better, thank you un. Now I really must go un."

The blond had to stop himself room running down the hall, away from the smirk that he knew was still there.

* * *

Deidara passed out on his couch shortly after getting home from his check-up. He wasn't quite sure why he was so very tired.

That night his dreams were red.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**

* * *

**

Interpret the last line however you wish. I know what I was thinking when I wrote it, but I left it open so you can think whatever you like.

I'm kind of excited for the next chapter. So excited, I'm giving you guys a tiny preview.

**CHAPTER 8 PREVIEW:**

_Sitting in a cell that would be all too easy to break out of gave you a lot of time to think, to decide things. So, while he had not decided what he thought of Deidara, he had decided what to do about that.  
He would start working on it when he finished re-reading The Great Gatsby. And considering he read whenever one of Hidan's nightmares kept him from sleeping, he figured he would be finished very soon._

_And then..._

**END PREVIEW**

That's right, next chapter, story progression. Awesome stuff.

P.S. BLATANT FORESHADOWING. in my opinion. Then again, I know what's going to happen...

P.P.S. BONUS POINTS IF YOU KNOW WHAT STRETCHY SUPERHERO I WAS THINKING OF.

P.P.P.S. Read and review, but do not flame. On the other hand I would love constructive criticism.


	9. Chapter 8

In which characters get introspective, and then introspection turns into happenings.

* * *

**MAD LOVE**

Sasori was a pretty astute man, perhaps more astute then the average person. So, he noticed Hidan's good mood as of late. The reason was easy enough to determine, but of course he also noticed the fundamental "off-ness" in Hidan's personality had lingered.

So he still wasn't sure what he thought about Deidara.

And sitting in a cell that would be all too easy to break out of gave you a lot of time to think, to decide things. So, while he had not decided what he thought of Deidara, he had decided what to do about that.

He would start working on it when he finished re-reading The Great Gatsby. And considering he read whenever one of Hidan's nightmares kept him from sleeping, he figured he would be finished very soon.

_And then..._

* * *

"_Flirting."_

Deidara suddenly spit the word out, and was glad he was alone in his apartment, lest someone think he was as crazy as one of his patients.

But it made sense.

Flirting. All this time Sasori had been flirting with him.

And he hadn't noticed. _Fuck_.

"How did I not notice un? All the smirk and the... eyelashes... Stupid, stupid, stupid! Okay calm down Deidara, it's just a challenge un... Another challenge un..." Deidara vaguely realized that he was pacing his apartment, babbling to himself, but dammit, this was his day off, he was allowed! "Okay, okay, why this, why flirting un... Um, obviously, he's, um, trying to make me uncomfortable! Yeah un. Damn, it worked! How am I ever supposed to treat him if he's intimidating me un!"

Deidara threw himself on the couch, angry at himself now. It was so obvious. Sasori liked being in control, like the puppet master the news made him out to be. Intimidation was one way, and harassment through flirting was just one way to do that.

And it worked.

Well that was going to stop now. No more, if Deidara was going to treat Sasori, he has to be better then that.

He was.

_And then..._

* * *

Hidan hummed a tune as he lay in his bed, the tune fluctuating between sounding like "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" and "Coin-Operated Boy." He was in bed, even though the clock told him it was past noon. Time did not matter much in Akatsuki. He hated that. It was wrong. Jashin told him so.

"I'm not crazy," he said to no one in particular. He wasn't crazy. He had tried to tell Deidara that, but he could tell that the blond either didn't believe him or didn't care.

He closed his eyes. He thought for a bit about Jashin, then a bit about his old henchgirls, wondering what they were doing now. He thought for a long time about cheeseburgers. He missed cheeseburgers. If, _when_, he broke out, he would get a cheeseburger from that nice frozen custard stand by the library. Then he'd buy a packet of cigarettes, maybe menthols. He missed cigarettes almost as much as he missed cheeseburgers.

Slowly his mind wandered back to Akatsuki. Getting a cheeseburger would have to be the second thing he did upon getting out.

"The first thing I'm going to do is wrap my fingers around _his_ throat..."

_And then..._

* * *

"Welcome back sir." Tsunade greeted as her boss stepped out of the menacing black automobile that could not quite be called a car. "How was patrol tonight?"

"Fine," said Sasuke, as he pulled off his mask. "Quiet. Too quiet. Not a peep, not even from Akatsuki."

"You're worried about it," muttered Tsunade, an obvious irritated tint in her voice.

"Of course I'm worried about it. This is uncharacteristic for Akasuna, Hidan..."

Tsunade took a sip of the sake she was holding, listening to her boss' ranting.

"I'd like to think there's been a breakthrough, but it's far too soon for that... I should probably contact Iwa. See how he's been doing with Hidan..."

Tsunade sighed. Her boss kept talking. _In someways,_ the woman thought, _he's far too paranoid. Other ways he's far too naive. Either way, one day he'll get in real trouble._

_And then...._

_

* * *

_

"You're reading The Great Gatsby?"

Sasori did not look up from his book. "Yes I am."

Hidan thought about that, shifting uncomfortably in his straitjacket that he was still forced to wear during social time. "You read a lot huh?"

"I suppose I do."

"You were reading a book a little while ago too..."

"Lord of the Flies," provided Konan, not looking up from her paper flower. She filled the holes in Hidan's memory, if nothing else, out of habit.

"Right," muttered Hidan. "I've read those. Lord of the Flies and Gatsby. I read them in high school. They were... homosexual."

Sasori's eyebrow rose, but he still did not look up from his book. "Is that so?"

"Oh yeah. Real homosexual." Hidan licked his lips. They were chapped, almost painfully so. "Like, soooo fucking gay, like, a censored gay porno, like-"

"You seem very focused on this Hidan," interrupted Sasori, his face never gaining expression to reveal his thoughts.

"Whatever then." The albino immediately dropped it, licking his lips again and shifting.

Suddenly a scream pierced through the asylum, making everyone jump and look up, except for Sasori. An orderly ran in and began talking frantically to the other orderly who was in charge of watching the inmates. Panic soon became evident on both of their faces.

A smirk played lightly over Sasori's lips, but only for an instant. All of the other inmates were too distracted by trying to figure out what was happening to notice. Only Konan looked at Sasori for a long moment, as if she was trying to figure something out. Then she looked away.

Sasori never stopped reading.

* * *

Deidara usually avoided watching the news whenever possible. This probably wasn't a good habit per se, but it usually spared him from hearing about depressing things that did not effect him in any conceivable way.

That was probably why he did not here about his coworker's attempted suicide until he arrived back from his day off. How else could he not know.

The news was, after all, buzzing with the fact that Doctor Chouji Akimichi, the man who had been in charge of treating Sasori Akasuna, AKA the Scorpion Killer, had suffered from a breakdown and slit his wrists, shortly after a session with Akasuna.

* * *

_And then, things were set in motion...._

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

Various note:

Happy whatever-winter-based-holiday-you-happen-to-celebrate! I wanted to have this up a lot sooner, but finals got in the way of that. (Chemistry seriously kicked my ass.) AND GUESS WHAT! This fanfiction has reached over 100 reviews! I'm so happy! Seriously, thank you all my reviewers, you are all great. And, also thank you if you have favorited this, or put on alert, or even if you bookmarked it in little fanfiction bookmark-y thing that I just discovered this week. You are all great.

Notes on this chapter:

The literature references: In this fanfiction I have referenced both Lord of the Flies and The Great Gatsby, in the order of which I had to read them for school. I enjoyed them both greatly, but the extreme homoeroticism of both made me laugh. It seems I unconsciously select books like that. So, that's why Hidan says what he does. (Lord of the Flies is by William Golding and The Great Gatsby is by F. Scott Fitzgerald.)

I was craving cheeseburgers while writing this.

Coin-Operated Boy is by The Dresden Dolls.

Please review, do not flame, but as always I would greatly appreciate constructive criticism.


	10. Chapter 9

I am sorry this is later than normal. To make up for it, major plot development ahead.

* * *

**MAD LOVE**

"Hey Dr. Iwa!"

Deidara looked up from the paperwork he had been filling out, quickly swallowing the mouthful of leftover noodles from the take-out Thai food he had eaten the previous night.

"Oh hi Shizune un. Uh, do you need something un?"

The dark-haired orderly smiled at him. "Oh, well, I was just wondering if you were going to sign the card everyone got for Chouji. I mean, it's so sad after all..."

Deidara twitched a bit but forced himself to smile. "Yeah, Akimichi. Real sad un. Give me the card."

Shizune smiled and walked over to his desk handing the cardstock to him. Quickly Deidara scribbled his name across it. He cleared his throat as he handed it back to her.

"So, uh, any word on what's going to be happening to Akimichi's job un."

Shizune frowned. "Unfortunately he won't be coming back. Madara's just hoping it won't reflect badly on the institution. After all he was treating... _Akasuna_." Fear flickered across her face as she said the familiar name. Then she shook her head. "I don't know who will treat him now. I mean, they can't prove he drove Chouji to it, but..."

She stopped suddenly. "I'm sorry. I'll leave you to your lunch. Goodbye Dr. Iwa." She bowed slightly as she left.

Deidara stared at the open door for a bit, then took another bite of his noodles.

* * *

Madara's head shot up, turning a glare onto to Deidara. "You _what_?"

Deidara flinched a little at the sudden bite in his superior's voice, but refused to let it show. "I wish to be placed on Akasuna's case un."

Madara stood from his desk, an angry look in his eyes. "Really now? You want to be placed on his case? Why is that Iwa? What makes you think you can handle treating an animal like that? Akimichi couldn't, and he had _years_ more experience than you."

Deidara said nothing for a long moment, thinking, calculating. Then, slowly, he said "With all due respect sir, if I don't treat Akasuna, who will un? I doubt any other doctors want to treat him right now. And I also don't think the city will be happy if the most dangerous killers in Konoha's history isn't getting the mental help he was sentenced to un."

More silence as Madara frowned, pinching the bridge of his nose. Then he looked back up.

"One session. I'll let you do one session with Akasuna, then I'll decide if you can do it. Only one, understood?"

Deidara's eyes widened and his chest clenched, but he said nothing other then "Understood un."

Before he left though, Madara spoke again. "Deidara," he said, walking over to the blond and putting his hand on his shoulder before he could reach the door. "Don't trust him. He's a fiend who enjoys twisting the minds of anyone stupid enough to trust him."

"I don't trust anyone un," Deidara said flatly, not turning around.

"You can trust me if you want."

Deidara bit his tongue and shrugged his superior's hand off his shoulder. He walked out the door, shutting it behind him. He didn't move for a moment, other than the involuntary trembling that was suddenly wracking his body.

Then he ran. He ran all the way back to his own office, slamming the door behind him. Then he leaned against the door, still trembling.

He let his knees unlock, and he slipped down, so he was sitting on the floor, with his back pressed to the door.

Then he started laughing.

It had worked, he was going to be treating Akasuna. It had worked, worked, worked.

He had never been this happy before.

* * *

"_I really do like your name Deidara," Sasori had purred. "It just has a... ring to it."_

_Then Sasori put his hand on the glass, grinning. "You can see how I'd be attracted to a name like yours."_

_Deidara frowned. He was in a hurry and wasn't sure why he had passed by the red-haired man's cell. Sasori always stopped him. _

"_That's very nice un," Deidara had said, needing to leave before Sasori sucked him in. "Now if there's nothing else..." He turned and began to leave._

"_It's a name..." Sasori started again, insistently. "That put's a smile on my face. It makes me feel like there's someone in this godforsaken little hole... that I can relate to."_

_Deidara was almost gone. _

"_Like there's someone who'd like to hear my secrets."_

_Deidara had froze. Then he smiled._

Deidara was lurched out of his thoughts of the incident that happened a few weeks ago, before the incident with Chouji, by his stomach flipping again, making him retch into the toilet he was already kneeling over.

"Fuck," swore Deidara, once the retching died down. It was pathetic, getting sick like this, right before his session with Sasori. Then he shook his head, careful not to dislodge his hair from the way he had quickly tied it back upon feeling himself getting nauseous, to avoid getting sick in his own hair. "Just a nervous stomach un," he muttered to himself. "That's all un."

Once he felt his stomach had settled enough, he stood, flushed the toilet, and moved to the sink. He quickly washed the sweat off of his face and fixed his hair, releasing it from the ponytail so it fell straight down his back once again as well as making sure his long fringe covered his eye.

He looked in the mirror for a bit, then took a deep breath. "I'm ready," he hissed to his reflection. "I'm ready."

He walked out of the employee restroom, confident again.

* * *

Deidara _was_ ready. He continued to think that as he entered the room where he would be speaking with Sasori. He was ready. He had studied everyone of Sasori's crimes, his gimmicks, even old sessions with previous doctors. He would not be taken unaware.

Deidara was prepared for anything.

After settling in, Sasori was silent for a few moments, then he said, "You know, my father used to beat me up pretty bad."

Deidara blinked. Anything except that.

Sasori continued. "If I got a little out of line, BAM!" Deidara flinched at the loud sound effect. Sasori continued.

"Sometimes I would just be sitting there and he's hit me for no reason. Dad used to drink a lot you know."

Deidara nodded. Sasori continued.

"He was a sad man. There was only one time I think I saw him really happy. We had gone to a carnival when I was seven, and there were some of those living statues, you know, people who dress up and act like statues? Well they were very good, Dad didn't even notice until he was right up to one, then all of a sudden this guy comes to life and scared him. After that he laughed harder then I ever saw him laugh. So, I decided to make him laugh. I dressed up in one of his fancy dress shirts, and tried to paint myself up like the statue people had."

Sasori leaned back in his chair, stretching. "Dad didn't like that. When I got home he broke my nose." He shrugged. "Oh well. That is the downside to being an artist. There will always be someone who doesn't get it. Like my father. Or Hebi."

There was silence after that. Deidara swallowed, trying to gather his thoughts. Sasori's story... It was...

Finally, words came to Deidara.

"Do you think I'm stupid un?" He snapped. "Well I'm not! I'm not going to believe that bullshit sob-story un!"

Sasori looked surprised for a moment. Then he grinned wider then Deidara had ever seen him grin.

"Oh, I _like_ you Deidara. This is going to be more fun than I thought it would be."

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

And now anyone who has seen or read the original Mad Love Batman story are probably going "What?" And if you haven't... Well, you aren't, and that is fine.

So, notes: This chapter is _heavily_ based off of the original issue, with a lot of lines paraphrased from it, including Sasori's whole sob-story.(In the orginal with Joker it was a circus, not a carnival.) So that credit goes all to Paul Dini, the writer of Mad Love. I changed the end though to better fit Deidara.

More notes: If you don't know what a living statue is, it is a type of preformance art where people paint themselves so they look like they are metal or stone, then star perfectly still like a statue. (It's harder and cooler than it sounds.)

And as usual, you are going "Why was this chapter late? You didn't update in January at all!" Well, yeah, school has made me busy. And then actually I went to San Francisco with my Debate Class, so I had no internet during that. Then when I got back I got sick. Then I discovered a new fandom to read stuff for. Then I finished this.

So yeah.

Direct all questions and comments and of course constructive critiques towards a review. No flaming though please.


	11. Chapter 10

Warning: Some light talk of necrophilia. No details about it though.

* * *

**MAD LOVE**

Sometimes Konan wondered if people forgot how dangerous she was. She wondered if, just because she didn't curse every other word like Hidan, or try to eat people like Zetsu, or even hiss and threaten like Sasori did, people forgot that the last time she had broken out of Akatsuki Asylum she had murdered 6 people in the course of two months. She was fairly certain people did. Maybe, she thought, she should cry misogyny, sexism, prejudice, but on second thought, maybe it was better that they forgot.

After all, it did give her certain advantages. Her doctor's took her less seriously due to the fact that she was female, and while she should be insulted (and often was) she used it to her advantage. Her doctor was male, so fluttering her eyelashes and speaking with a certain tone in her voice made him tell her things that she probably shouldn't have been told.

That was how she found out that Deidara Iwa was going to be put on Sasori Akasuna's case permanently.

"Iwa? He's awfully young isn't he?" She asked, twirling a lock of blue hair around her finger.

"He is," agreed Dr. Abumi. "But who else would want to treat that psycho? Besides, it's Madara's call."

"Hmm," hummed Konan, her eyes glazing over in thought for a moment. Then she refocused, dropping the lock of hair and leaning forward towards where Dr. Abumi was sitting. "Oh Zaku, I was wondering could you be a dear and get me some origami paper? I've been feeling a little... under-stimulated as of late."

The man frowned. "I don't know... I could get in trouble..."

Konan fluttered her eyelashes. "Please Zaku? It could be our little secret..."

"Well, I suppose I could get you a few sheets..."

He looked away and Konan smirked.

* * *

"Surely, Deidara, you appreciate fine art. I can tell you do. You are an artist at heart Deidara-Mine."

Deidara felt his face heating at the affectionate term, but tried to keep his expression stony. He knew that Sasori would continually flirt with him, he had figured that out weeks ago. The flirting, _the sexual harassment_ (_Flirting implies mutuality_ he kept reminding himself), was Sasori's way of intimidating, of expressing dominance. If he showed that it flustered him then Sasori would have a leg up on him.

"Sasori, I may be treating you, and I may allow us to be on a first name basis, but there is no need to be so unprofessional un." He said, keeping his voice flat.

"I think there's need," muttered the red-haired man, licking his lips, and for a minute Deidara thinks he's going to try and break the doctor's composure, but much to his relief the man leans back in his chair. "Ah well. Anyway, as I said, you are an artist Deidara."

Deidara shook his head. "Hardly un. I never so much as took an art history class."

"You say that, but I know better Deidara. I know someone who can appreciate art, real art, when I see them. It's in the way you breath Deidara, the way you move, talk. You are an artist. Which means you can _appreciate_ my art." The last part was almost whispered, but it sounded deafening to Deidara's ears.

"Your art..." he started, building up the nerve to ask the question. "Your victims... They're you're art aren't they?"

Sasori smirked, and seemed to perk up. "You guessed? Lovely! It usually takes them much longer. And then they storm out of the room in disgust. But you know, don't you Deidara? You can appreciate their beauty, their _everlasting_ beauty."

"You think corpses are beautiful un?"

The redhead looked offended. "Are you implying I'm a necrophile Deidara? I would never do something that disgusting. The common, _rotting_, temporary, _disgusting _corpse has no beauty. And for that matter, my art is not sexual to me. No, it is an aesthetic appreciation solely. Art."

"Of course. That's comforting un." Deidara didn't bother to hide the contempt in his voice.

"Oh Deidara, you have lived around non-artists for too long," Sasori chuckled. "They've warped your mind. It's okay though, you will appreciate my lovely art. You will see how beautiful the everlasting is. May I see your eye?"

Deidara started at the change of subject, interrupting his own note-taking. "My eye un?"

Sasori nodded, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table that separated them. "Yes. The one under you're hair. I've never seen that eye. It seems only fair, since I intend to share _so much_ with you, that you share that with me."

Deidara froze, thinking. He... He didn't want to uncover his eye, but what if Sasori went through with his vague, implied threat? What if he refused to talk to Deidara if he did not show his eye? Either way Sasori had the power.

He reached up and pushed the fringe of blond hair out of his eye, revealing his glassy eye, a hazy blue that neither captured nor released any of the light that would indicate sight.

Sasori smirked. "It's blind," he stated simply.

Deidara nodded, not saying anything, not making eye contact.

"How did it happen?"

Deidara gulped. "It was, uh, an accident when I was younger un. I was messing with chemicals and they exploded in my face. I'm lucky this was the only thing that happened un."

Sasori nodded, not taking his eyes away from Deidara's face. "And why do you hide it?"

Deidara shrugged. "People are made uncomfortable by it un."

"I think you're lying," purred Sasori, and Deidara started, partly at the words, and partly because the redhead chose that moment to rise in his chair and lean over the table so his face was mere inches away from Deidara's. "I think you're ashamed of it. You think it's ugly. You think it's shameful."

Sasori reached out now, moving his hand to touch the blind eye. Before he could though Deidara used the back of his had to slap at the outstretched fingers.

"Do not touch me un!" he snapped, pushing his chair backwards. "This is extremely unprofessional! You are _not_ the one diagnosing _me_ un!"

Sasori said nothing for a moment, then he leaned back ion his chair. "Of course Deidara," was all he said.

* * *

That night Deidara sat on his couch like he had taken to doing, reviewing the notes he had taken on Sasori.

Art, that was what Sasori had said his victims were. And, as much as he wanted to prove sasori wrong, he almost understood it. Almost, because there was one thing he could not understanding. He had called their beauty everlasting.

Surely that was an oxymoron. Nothing stayed beautiful forever. Beautiful statues crumbled, beautiful sights decayed, beautiful people aged. He was skeptical of Sasori's insistence of his artistic talents, but even if he wasn't an artist he could not see how anything beautiful could be everlasting. Surely beauty was fleeting, right?

Deidara shook his head. This was not what he should be thinking about. He was a doctor dammit. He didn't have time to think about art or beauty or frivolous things like that. Not if he wanted to cure Sasori, to become famous, to come out on top.

He had to focus.

While Deidara thought of such things on his couch, Konan slept soundly, Hidan slept fitfully, and Sasori did not sleep at all.

It was almost time to take it to the next level. Almost, not yet.

Sasori smirked as he heard distressed noises coming from Hidan's cell, and he began to whistle.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**

* * *

**

I probably should have mentioned this last time, but I have received two lovely pieces of fanart for this work.

The first is a drawing of Sasori in his cell by SoundNinja-Ragdoll at deviantart.

The second is a drawing of Hidan in a session with Deidara by KiraMineku at deviantart.

I really appreciate both of them and feel very flattered. I might link to the pictures on my profile.

Now, uh, about why it took me so long... School has been really hectic, and I really have not had any time for recreational writing. I'm very sorry. Updates should be regular now. By that I mean monthly like they used to be. (Though I'm having a little pacing troubles. Meh.)

ON THE ACTUAL CHAPTER: Not a whole lot to say except I'm glad I got to add more Konan, and I'm wondering if there are any guesses to why Hidan is the way he is.

Ah well, please review, but don't flame. Per usual I would love constructive criticism.


	12. AUTHOR NOTE

**This story is officially on hiatus.**

I have no idea when or if I will continue it HOWEVER I don't want to abandon it because I feel I still may want to pick this back up or go back and re-write it to make it better.

For more details on why, please go to my profile. Message me (or leave a review I guess) to express any comments, questions or concerns.


End file.
